We got out early and right on time. In case you’re unfamiliar with how ‘on time’ works in our family, it roughly calculates to thirty minutes after we say we’re going to leave. I’m generally ready and cocky about it, Syd’s generally ready and easy going about it, and Willy’s generally late and smug.
Thankfully, in this case we were way ahead of the game. Willy likes to get to the airport 12 hours before CONUS itineraries and 24 hours for all others. Just kidding - I guess it only seems that way. Personally I like a good adrenaline pump, so I figure out a time that will get me there 100% of the time under ideal circumstances and 85% of the time otherwise, so if something goes wrong I can still feel my pulse working nicely without the workout I am always too lazy to knock out the day of a flight.
Great thing lately at Dulles has been the ease by which a normal, everyday bloke and his family can make it through security. Since we were flying Dulles’s ‘bastard stepchild’, American Airlines, we had a feeling ticketing would be fairly quick and it was. With both of these behind us within 20 minutes and a 5 minute ride on our favorite 1960s Jetsons artifact, the “mobile lounge” (which most would call the giant, tall bus with a tail wing), we dropped in to one of the many HMS-run dogfooderies: Moe’s. (Honestly, it was kinda uncool for me to say that because the food was surprisingly good.)
Jaime was very nice and gave us what we needed but didn’t crowd us, and the food - a ham and cheddar omelet for me and a breakfast combo for the Willy/Syd biumverate - was hot and fresh when it arrived. I finished quickly and went to grab some cash, then headed to the gate.
Still way ahead of the agent, we sat around and chatted in anticipation of what whacky seating arrangement might be thrown our way. To American’s great credit, they seemed to pick up on the fact that we had a 12 year old in our group and just might want to be sat together. When I arrived at the counter with my seatless tickets, three tickets with seats in the bulkhead awaited and were already sitting on the surface next to the agent. Quick exchange, first ones on the plane (always awesome), and stowing our goods, the FA intercommed to let us know the flight would be full and we shouldn’t get to frisky with neighboring seats or too slow in our commitment to getting our butts belted in seats.
This began to seem odd to us, because no one else was getting on. First inclination was to believe something was going on in the airport, and that perhaps someone had committed a security breach and no one was allowed on to any plane that had not already been dispatched. With a three hour layover we weren’t too concerned, only fascinated. The pilot, who made his way into the breezeway with a few highly kind acknowledgments to the waiting crowd, was now on the mic to entertain the troops and shared the news. Apparently, some “recalcitrant goofball” had breached security as suspected, but shortly we’d start to see the remaining passengers working their way down the aisles.
Finally, everyone was belted, the obligatory notices were shared, and we were first in line for takeoff. Screaming down the runway, all of a very abrupt sudden… “RRRRRRRRRRRRRT.” Brakes screaming and engines shut down, we very suddenly stopped close the end of the runway. The immediate reaction of the passengers was panic, but my thoughts were that whatever might have happened was essentially averted, so while the fearful cries were working their way out of others’ mouths, I could only chuckle a bit. To me it felt like that ride at Disney’s Animal Kingdom that climbs the snowy mountain and then suddenly stops and reverses course. Of course that ride killed one more person than this flight, so no worries (of course we’re in mid-flight as I write this).
After a rapid episode of telephone from routed from passenger to passenger, the pilot took the intercom once again. “Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we had a large contingent of birds on the runway and rather than have one or more of them knock out an engine requiring us to return to Dulles we’ve decided to give this another shot. They were the first ones here, but we’re bigger so we plan to turn back momentarily for takeoff. Once the airport trucks took a swipe at the runway to ward off the northbound aviary air force, a plane departed just before us to assure the runway composition would consist solely of intended elements.
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